Hello,

So, here goes nothing. I have come to a place in my life where I am beginning to stare into space and into people. I know that may sound very weird but I am really looking at people for who they really are and dealing with them from where they are. That said, I just experienced one of the most interesting quarters of my life. In the third quarter of last year, I lost my granny, ran for City Council, quit my job, took my ex husband back to court, started a new business, my kids' guinea pigs died (3 of them) and divorced some people who I considered "associates"! and dang, they didn't even make it to the "friends" category fast enough before they received the "bye Felicia". Well, I know that many of you are saying, "geez, lady, what are you wearing a Wonder-woman cape?" Well, all of it is great and it came with many high points and upsets. I had to swallow my hurt from losing my granny. She was my everything. She was my rock. I loved the ground that woman walked on? Well, if that's the case, then why do I feel so guilty? I will tell you why I feel so guilty, you see, I fell for the okie-doke. I fell for the "strong woman" stereotype. There is no doubt in my mind that I am not a strong woman. As a matter of fact, I am too strong at times. I am so strong, that I arm wrestle my own self and lose. I no longer want to arm wrestle myself. I no longer want to be this Superwoman. I am ready to take off my cape and  pass it on to some other woman who is just now embracing her strength. I am not saying that I don't want to be strong anymore, I am just saying that I no longer need to be VALIDATED by that kind of strength. I don't want to be as strong. I just want to be. The strength enabled me to do so many things but it caused me to be so busy doing so many things that I missed out on the important things. I missed out on living life. I missed out on some important phone calls. I missed on some smiles, I missed on out some games, I missed out some unseen opportunities, I missed out on my life.
I no longer live my life in participation mode, I live it in observation and participation mode. I treasure the overlooked, I treasure the fights, I treasure the mishaps. I learned alot from last year. I was the student and the teacher definitely showed up. My granny's death, my run for City Council, the loss of my childrens' guinea pigs and everything else was very valuable. From the death of my granny, I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed, except that once you are born, you will die. Everything in between the birth and death is be enjoyed thoroughly! From the death of my childrens' guinea pigs, I learned that even the smallest animals have purpose. God has a way of showing Himself in anything, if you are paying attention. I realized that I created a very strong family bond with my children and the pets and one missing person or animal, or the lack of attention to one entity throws off the family energy.  When I took my ex-husband back to court, I realized that I was still holding on to something that was deeply rooted and I needed to cut the root (no it was not him). When I ran for City Council, started my business, and quit my job, I learned that we are all responsible for taking a few risks and I hadn't touched my risk list yet. I also learned that God is always listening and we must not ask for things that we do not want. Lastly, the associates that I had to cut off, time is precious-don't waste time categorizing things and situations that aren't necessary. Just don't!

Thanks!  Woo-sah!!!