5 Things I Learned From My Sons-Lesson #1

Today's blog is about the lessons I learned from boys.

Lesson #1: "Take your time to respond"

I recently started working at a private school and majority of the students are male.  When I started teaching there, I observed how the male students responded to my questions and comments during the class discussion. Most of them were quiet and very reserved and the boys were slower to respond to the emotional based questions.  At first I thought, "oh, well this feeds into what I assumed about males in general, they process their information internally."  Well, I realized something else was happening that I was not aware of.  The boys were responding with silence because they have been taught to respond with silence.  You see, typically when we teach boys about their emotions, we either tell them that they cannot express how they feel or we just don't talk about it at all.  When the boys are asked to express how they feel, we get upset when they have nothing to say.  It's absurd!  I had to back track and create a lesson about emotions and communication.  I used Poetry and Public Speaking as a way to teach it.  Each day, I taught the boys how to recognize what they feel, how to respond to what they feel, how to relate to the way others feel. I also taught them how to control how they feel and how to express certain feelings to one another.  I also focused on triggers and symptoms of our emotions.   As time progressed, I began to notice that the boys would take their time to respond but they would respond. It was almost as if they were searching themselves first before they responded to the question or the scenario.

Take away:
Take your time to respond. Certain situations can be avoided if we take the time to think about the outcome of our decisions.

Blessings to you and all the best!

#singlemomchronicles

The Single Mom Chronicles: "The Day I Stopped Caring!"

 "The Day I Stopped Caring"

Hello loves. I am so glad that you came back.  I don't have very many friends so I appreciate you sticking around. Ok, so here it is. Let me just say this, A few years I stopped caring about many things.  I want to give you a list of what I stopped caring about. You may have had similar cares as well!

1. What people think-this is a HUGE one. Let me start off by saying that I don't give a crap about what people think about me. I never really cared and now, I REALLY DON'T CARE! I do not live to please people and their opinions of me. I give my all to those who I care about and the things I care about, however; anyone or anything else gets the toilet seat. <<<<<
2. Stomach fat-ladies listen, stomach fat is your friend! Stop trying to unfriend it and welcome the damn bond. It's ok, I promise. I have a serious suck in game that no one else has mastered but honey let me tell you, when I let that sucker go-it's game over! Embrace your fat friend and spend time with it.  You will realize that it is your best ally. I have even mastered sitting food on top of it and my kids grab it from time to time when they want to show me something. My youngest son even uses it as a ramp for his toy cars.

3. My feet-this one is another HUGE one for me as well. Ok, so let me get this straight. I DO NOT, I REPEAT, I DO NOT go around with bad looking feet. I take alot of pride in the way my feet look. What I will say is that I inherited my fathers feet (oh, God!) and I have spent thousands of dollars trying to make them look feminine. Now, I have done a great job I may say but once the polish is off and there isn't any lotion around, its game over! So therefore, I keep the polish and lotion on and I invest in the pedi-socks.  I care about my feet, I just stopped trying so hard to make them look a certain way so that I don't get the stares.  Well guess what? I figured out that I am going to get the stares anyway. I have big feet! I stopped caring about trying to have "pretty feet" If this is your thing guys, move the hell on! It is what it is! Besides, I look for men who have uglier feet than mine. Ladies, if you have dog claws for toenails, paint and lotion those suckers and slip on those pretty sandals and keep it moving!

4. Passing gas-stop holding that stuff in, you are going to DIE! I suffer from it now because I used to hold it in not wanting to let the man I was dating know that I had it.  Well guess what? I have it and I am passing it where it needs to be passed-in the bathroom. If you have a problem with it-too bad!
I have gotten too old to be worried about what you think about my insides, that's a battle on its own.  I am a lady and I will always be a lady but I will be a lady without deadly gas too. It's not cute to walk around with a lop-sided stomach.  Let that crap go, literally!

5. Cooking-ok, I must admit that God skipped over the cooking gene when He made me. I guess He thought I was beautiful enough and He gave me more than enough intelligence to last several life times. I am not the cook.  I love to eat but I am not the COOK! You may ask, "can you cook?" the answer is, "yes."  I just don't like to. I always date men who can cook.  It takes the pressure off. I cook enough for my children to survive. They are still living so its edible and it works.  I used to stress myself out because I would come home from work, take care of everyone and everything, and try to make a Martha Stewart meal. Not anymore! Listen, if my kids say that they want Waffles and Cheetos for dinner, my response is, "add some Green Beans and you can have it!" DEAD SERIOUS! I am raising them on my own and I am not making any excuses but I am not going to stress myself out about it and die an early death because of the stress.  I would hate to get to heaven and someone ask me, "why are you here so early?"  My response would be, "well, I was so stressed about whether to cook Steak and Asparagus, Beenie Weenies or Hamburger Helper that I passed out and went into cardiac arrest!" NOT THIS WOMAN! So, therefore I cook what I can and leave the rest to all of those good people who open nice restaurants and they hire the best chef's in the land. Many of those places are open 24-7, what a perfect time for us!

Listen, the point of this post is to encourage you or someone you know.  Don't get bent out of shape! Life is not that serious! Let loose every now and again! Don't allow others opinion of you shape who you are, what you do and how you do it-be like Nike and JUST DO IT!

Signing off,
The Single Mother Who Doesn't Give A Damn

The Single Mom Chronicles

Hello my loves. I just wanted to say that I am sorry for not following up and posting. I have been busy raising children and getting degrees. I am going to go a different route with my blog. I want to make this particular series about the something that I know a lot about-single parenting. I have had the pleasure of being a single parent for most of my life. Yes, I said the pleasure of because I wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world. It really has been a gift and many opportunities have come out of it. Trust me, I have tried to change it and no one wants to be bothered my OCD, Narcoleptic, Insomniac ass! I am also a hoarder that loves chocolate and cheese; not together of course. I have just realized how funny my life is and humor is my survival tactic.
Today is Sunday, July 31, 2016 and I am super excited. Why am I excited you may ask? Well, I will tell you; the kids go back to school tomorrow. I can't believe it. I feel like I have been in a desert in the middle of nowhere with no water, no food, nothing! I feel like I've had no sign of anyone coming to dig me out of this place called, "the kids are out for the summer".  If you do not have children then you will not understand. I cannot tell you how happy I am today. I will be even happier tomorrow when their bus pulls up and I actually see them get on the bus and the bus drives off.  Listen, I know you may be judging me already for saying this about my own children but guess what? I don't care!  I am a single mother of 3 children, 2 live in the house and 1 is in college. The 2 who live in the house with me are 16 and 12.  They are ready to start a job and pay taxes and social security. Seriously! I literally have to hide my food and my snacks, not that I don't do that anyway, but its even worse in the summer. I mean really, why didn't anyone tell me that its possible for a piece of life to eat enough groceries for ten people.  I have lost a lot of weight because there are only scraps left. Only if the smells equates to the actual food then I would be ok.  Well, that's enough of my complaining. I am off to see how angry my kids are as they get on the bus. I am going to just smile and waive.

Sincerely,

The Single Mom Who Doesn't Give a Damn!

Hello,

So, here goes nothing. I have come to a place in my life where I am beginning to stare into space and into people. I know that may sound very weird but I am really looking at people for who they really are and dealing with them from where they are. That said, I just experienced one of the most interesting quarters of my life. In the third quarter of last year, I lost my granny, ran for City Council, quit my job, took my ex husband back to court, started a new business, my kids' guinea pigs died (3 of them) and divorced some people who I considered "associates"! and dang, they didn't even make it to the "friends" category fast enough before they received the "bye Felicia". Well, I know that many of you are saying, "geez, lady, what are you wearing a Wonder-woman cape?" Well, all of it is great and it came with many high points and upsets. I had to swallow my hurt from losing my granny. She was my everything. She was my rock. I loved the ground that woman walked on? Well, if that's the case, then why do I feel so guilty? I will tell you why I feel so guilty, you see, I fell for the okie-doke. I fell for the "strong woman" stereotype. There is no doubt in my mind that I am not a strong woman. As a matter of fact, I am too strong at times. I am so strong, that I arm wrestle my own self and lose. I no longer want to arm wrestle myself. I no longer want to be this Superwoman. I am ready to take off my cape and  pass it on to some other woman who is just now embracing her strength. I am not saying that I don't want to be strong anymore, I am just saying that I no longer need to be VALIDATED by that kind of strength. I don't want to be as strong. I just want to be. The strength enabled me to do so many things but it caused me to be so busy doing so many things that I missed out on the important things. I missed out on living life. I missed out on some important phone calls. I missed on some smiles, I missed on out some games, I missed out some unseen opportunities, I missed out on my life.
I no longer live my life in participation mode, I live it in observation and participation mode. I treasure the overlooked, I treasure the fights, I treasure the mishaps. I learned alot from last year. I was the student and the teacher definitely showed up. My granny's death, my run for City Council, the loss of my childrens' guinea pigs and everything else was very valuable. From the death of my granny, I learned that nothing in life is guaranteed, except that once you are born, you will die. Everything in between the birth and death is be enjoyed thoroughly! From the death of my childrens' guinea pigs, I learned that even the smallest animals have purpose. God has a way of showing Himself in anything, if you are paying attention. I realized that I created a very strong family bond with my children and the pets and one missing person or animal, or the lack of attention to one entity throws off the family energy.  When I took my ex-husband back to court, I realized that I was still holding on to something that was deeply rooted and I needed to cut the root (no it was not him). When I ran for City Council, started my business, and quit my job, I learned that we are all responsible for taking a few risks and I hadn't touched my risk list yet. I also learned that God is always listening and we must not ask for things that we do not want. Lastly, the associates that I had to cut off, time is precious-don't waste time categorizing things and situations that aren't necessary. Just don't!

Thanks!  Woo-sah!!!

Hello my fellow believers!

I know its been a while since you have heard from me but. I promised myself that I would get this blog page up and running again. I am so excited about the many things that are happening; even the possibilities of things that can happen. I am working on a book called, "Mean Women, You Are Just Too Damn Old For That!" The idea came from a conversation I had with my daughter. We were watching the movie, "Mean Girls" and I asked my daughter, "what happens to mean girls when they grow up?" she said, "they become mean women." From that point, I started writing. One chapter in particular is called, "The Competition"  What is the competition and what is it all about? You know what? There is so many resources out here for everyone. There is enough for everyone to experience success in business. My business partner and I started a movement called, Politics, Pantsuits & Pumps. We started the movement in response to a need that was brought to my attention while I was running for office. I recently ran for City Council in the city of Austell, Ga. I noticed that so many people had businesses but limited resources.  For the sake of this post, particularly women who are either operating a business on limited funds and resources or they cannot start their business because of the lack of resources and funds. That said, we started this movement. The purpose of this movement is to show women in Politics, Business and other fields that they do have a group of women who will support them and offer services at a very reasonable price or even barter for the the services. Well, as it relates to the chapter in my book, The Competition, why is it there if there are organizations such as Politics, Pantsuits & Pumps? I am sure there are other organizations out there who are just as willing to offer these services as well. Nonetheless, the chapter discusses the competition but more importantly, the root cause for the competition. Everything has a "root" and one of the root's to the competition is, insecurities. I said roots because a situation can have more than one root or problem. The circumstances can stem from something or somethings. Well as I stated earlier, one of the root problems is insecurities. Let me just say this. One must be secure in his or her abilities and talents.  In this particular chapter, the discussion continues about the competition,
"the competition is ugly, it’s destructive and demoralizing.  The competition exists between women.  Neither one of the women wants be the servant or appear to be the weaker woman. According to the unwritten rules in the competition, only one can be the powerful force, especially in the corporate arena.  For example, in the competition only one woman can own the distinctive shoes, and by the way this said shoe can be found at any participating DSW or Shoe Dazzle.  In the competition only one woman can have the gorgeous, but expensive handbag, the nicest hairstyle, the newest car.  This competition is fierce and stiff."  Again, the competition is out there and it does exist. Instead of us just talking about the competition, we decided to do something about it. We decided that we would use this as an outlet to start a movement that will change how women do business with one another. If you are a woman, in need of assistance as it relates to your business, please consider reaching out to us at knightandhillassociates@gmail.com or call us at 470.309.2611. Let us show you how we started our business on a shoe string budget and who we reached out to for help, but more importantly, who helped US! 
 I am not just trying to advertise to push our business, I am trying to show the world that women can work together and the get the job done! 

Tell me, what do you think? What do you believe?

Successfully,

Shondrae D. Knight, MBA
CEO, Knight & Hill Associates, LLP

You need a little motivation? Well get a load of this!

Happy New Year Everyone!

I hope that everyone had a great holiday and is ready for the New Year. I didn't make any resolutions because I never EVER keep them. I know it's sad but it is the truth. Well this year is monumental for me because I am going to complete one of the tasks on my bucket list. You may be wondering what that monumental task maybe; I am going to be graduating from college. Yes, I have struggled and sacrificed and now the end is near. To be honest with you it is nowhere near the end it is only the beginning. While I was looking for some good articles to online to read, I came across an article in the Huffington Post about a young lady who too had to overcome obstacles. I read the article and I was blown away! This young lady I read about is phenomenal! I would like to share the information I read and the article from the Huffington Post.

The young lady I am referring to is Candace Klein, the founder of Bad Girl Ventures. Bad Girl Ventures is a non-profit organization that focuses on financing women owned start up companies. According to the Huffington Post, Bad Girl Ventures has educated over 250 businesses and financed over 26 women with 700k and created 154 jobs across Ohio (1)
Candace's journey began with humble beginnings. Candace is the daughter of a single teenaged mother who lived in a trailer park. Candace was the first of five children and was the first to attend college. Candace obtained four degrees at Northern Kentucky in 2003. She was then accepted to Boston University and the University of San Diego for law school. It seemed like everything was going in the right direction for Candace and could only go higher. Unfortunately, Candace was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. Candace had to move back home so that she could get proper treatment and have the cancer procedures done. The medical bills piled up and this hindered her from attending law school.

According to the interview she did with the Huffington Post, Candace worked as a lobbyist and met a woman by the name of Alice Sparks. Alice Sparks was independently wealthy and she was committed to promoting women causes. While having lunch with Alice, Candace told Alice her life story. Alice asked what she planned on doing with her future and Candace told her the plan. She wanted to learn the law, run a successful business, teach others how to run a successful business and run for governor of Ohio. To Candace's surprise, only after knowing Alice for one hour, Alice agreed to pay for her to go to law school. Wow!!! Even though Alice did not want the money back, she did want Candace to take the money and invest in other women.

Candace went to law school and began her career. After so many years of practicing corporate law, Candace was saddened by the financial state of some of her clients and that sparked the idea for the Bad Girls Venture. Candace understood that her clients did not just need money, they needed the education and training more than anything.

After I finished reading Candace's story, I was inspired. This sounds like a fairytale but this happens. There is a time in everyone's life when an "incredible opportunity" presents itself and either we will turn it down ignorantly or we won't even recognize it. Often times many of us don't have the faith in ourselves to take the time to take a chance at it. I can tell you from experience that I had a similar experience. Not necessarily like Candace but a young lady offered me the opportunity to invest in an up and coming cell phone company and I decided not to because I listened to some of my friends and I just received my income tax check and I was afraid to give up $1000 of my money. Three years later I ran into that same woman and she told me that I missed out on the opportunity to be an investor in the cell phone company "Metro PCS". I was sick to my stomach!!

Well needless to say I take the time to research any opportunity that presents itself. I am also aware that every opportunity is not a good one so the research comes in handy.

Well I hope this blog post is of assistance to some of you. If you don't do anything else, push yourself to do better and do more. You will be surprised at how much you can handle.

Best Wishes




Cite Info:

"Huffington Post." Editorial. Breaking News and Opinion on The Huffington Post. Huffington Post, 10 Jan. 2012. Web. 10 Jan. 2012. .

Your new inlaws; The "Dumps"

When many of us hear the word depression we automatically assume that it's for the really sick people and it doesn't apply to us. I would like for you to stop for a minute and ask yourself how do I deal with stress? Do I know what my breaking point is and have I ever reached it? Who do I talk to about this?

Now look, I am not here to promote propaganda or some "magic pill". I am here to tell you that we are human and we are emotional creatures and many things incite those emotions. Sometimes we put ourselves under so much pressure we forget to rest and take life one day at a time. It is important release the tension and the stress that is causing the depression.
If you are in a much more serious situation then by all means seek professional help.

I can tell you that in the African American community, seeking help has a stigma attached to it. If we meet with psychologist and psychiatrists then we have exposed our family business. This is so unfair and unrealistic. Many times we suffer because of ignorance and lack of knowledge.
If you feel as if you are having a hard time balancing the activities and people in your life; talk to someone who can help you.
Maybe they can help you and or suggest something or someone who can and will.

Mental health is just as important as physical health!
Stay blessed